Most of the time, gay people have gay friends

When gay men are idealized by women

Maybe we are so interesting for you as conversation partners because we never look at you with a classic "male gaze" - we have neither sexual nor romantic interest in you. That's why we probably understand a little better than our heterosexual colleagues what it must feel like: the constant risk of sending the wrong signals, questioning the intentions of men or even being sexually harassed. And we naturally have exciting insides for you, what it's like to be a cis-man - without any strange sexual tension between us.

Of course, it is important to also critically question our relationship with one another: Even if it is totally beautiful and special, this deep inner bond between us is based on common fears and the search for protection. Be it before bullying, sexual tension or even assaults. And don't get me wrong: I don't want to bash all straight men. I am aware that the majority of them are probably neither homophobic nor see every woman as a pure sex object. The problem is more likely that this heteronormative cis masculinity is unfortunately a damn robust construct that nobody can completely escape from, not even we gay men. But until we solve this problem, most of us are perfectly fine with idealizing the relationship between women and gay men a bit - because it's just damn beautiful! <3