Most long distance relationships start online
Long-distance relationship: tips on the most important questions!
Table of Contents
How do most long-distance relationships start?
Lots of remote controls are not consciously entered into, but result from "normal" relationships when certain life circumstances or changes occur in one of the partners.
Long-distance relationships often start for the following reasons:
- Studies / internship / year abroad: You decide to study in another city, do a longer internship somewhere else or go abroad for a certain period of time, e.g. as an au pair or work & travel.
- Job: You get a job project far from where you live and have to move (temporarily). Some of them are in the other city during the week and only go home to their partner on the weekend.
- Holiday acquaintances: During a vacation you fall in love with someone who lives far away and moving is initially impossible for both of them.
- Online Dating: You get to know your partner on the Internet and he is not from the area.
What are the most common long-distance relationships problems?
Since you don't always have your partner around you in a distance relationship, many couples struggle with the following problems:
- Alienation: Because of the distance you don't get much of the everyday life of the other person and over time you become a stranger.
- Jealousy: You don't know exactly what the other is doing. This is why jealousy scenes quickly arise if the other person does not answer the phone or appears later than expected on Skype.
- Lonliness: Even though you're in a relationship, you still spend most of your time alone. Many feel lonely because they can only share a few experiences with their partner. You have no one to wake up with or smile about your favorite show in the evening. In addition, you miss each other very much, which is also associated with sad feelings.
- Desire to have children: One would like to have children with one's partner, but starting a family makes no sense because the other person cannot take much part in bringing up the children.
When do long-distance relationships work?
A long distance relationship works best when the Distance not too great and you can see each other several times a month.
Also, long distance relationships work just fine when one endthe situation is foreseeable, e.g. for job-related projects or internships that are limited in advance and only last a few months. Then you have a motivation because you know that the “separation” will soon be over.
How can you survive a long distance relationship?
A relationship at a distance can be difficult, but if you do something about distrust and longing, it is somewhat easier to get through it:
- Find a new hobby: The hardest time is in the evening and when you are free. During working hours you are too busy to concentrate on your desires and problems. So try to bring yourself to other thoughts in your free time by occupying yourself somehow and not just sitting there longing. When you have something to do, you don't have time to ponder whether your partner is loyal to you and misses you too. Try to live and enjoy your life. It's not a betrayal of the relationship if you get distracted.
- Maintaining closeness and passion: Daily phone calls or chats help not to lose closeness to and familiarity with your partner. It is also important to keep the passion alive, e.g. through intimate erotic conversations.
- Have confidence in your partner: Trust is especially important when you don't even know what the other person is doing. After all, you're still together despite the distance. Jealousy is not good for anyone: constant control can destroy a relationship more than it can save it.
- Looking forward to the next meeting: It helps if you set a date for the next reunion at the end of each meeting. Then you have something to look forward to.
- Think about the time after: If you have to deal with strong longing again, try to concentrate on the time after the long-distance relationship. Because at some point the distance separation is over and you move (again) together. Tomorrow will be a new day and everything will be better. Dream a little about something beautiful and imagine what future coexistence might look like. Dreaming helps against sadness!
How can you save a long distance relationship?
Would you like one Save long-distance relationships, it helps most when you can finally bring the distance to a happy end and contracts. You can weigh it up together, for whom a move is more suitable. There are bonds that keep a person in a certain place, such as parents in need of care, a secure job that you don't want to give up, or real estate that you can't just sell.
If one of the partners is more flexible with regard to the move, one could try to look around for a new job in the vicinity of the other. Maybe you will find something suitable quickly and moving is less bad than you thought. Another conceivable option would be a Residence in the middleso that a distance to home is still ok for both of them.
If the difficulty of the long-distance relationship is not mainly the distance, but a lack of trust or poor communication, a Couples therapy help. Before doing this, however, it would make sense to honestly ask yourself whether you really want to save the relationship.
When should you end a long distance relationship?
A long-distance relationship doesn't work long-term. If an end to the long-distance relationship is not in sight, it would be wise to look for a solution and over common future ponder. If neither partner can imagine leaving the familiar environment, the long-distance relationship may do no sensebecause the situation will never change.
If one suffers from a long-distance relationship, that is likely will never end, you'd better end it - even if it hurts you. Then you have heartache for a few months, but it's still better than years of insecurity, loneliness and longing. Because that's what you are not happy.
It is also fair to the other to end a long distance relationship if one no more feelings Has. Then everyone can start their own life and eventually become happy. One has too far apartso that you have nothing more to tell each other, you should speak openly about your feelings. Maybe a new beginning really makes more sense for both of them.
Do you already know these dating sites? They are very popular!
About the author:
“I'm Andrea and I love to write for this website. As you have probably already guessed, online dating is one of my favorite hobbies. Otherwise I still play tennis, read women’s novels and like to eat vegetarian food. My day-to-day work consists of helping small companies to set up homepages which, to be honest, are less interesting than these :-) "
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