Regret you never have children

No desire to have children - four people are talking about life without children

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At some point everyone in my circle of acquaintances feels like having children. Those who don't have one are the exception. How is a child-free life in a society where having children is still considered the norm?

Consciously shaping your own life

Spontaneously a weekend in the mountains. Pack your suitcases from one day to the next and go around the world. Or simply space and time for nothing. What many parents can only dream of is reality for Nadine (42) and her partner. Together they have decided on a child-free life. “But you have to be able to deal with this freedom,” says Nadine.

A life without children teaches them to consciously shape their own lives. There are no children there who would bring distraction and variety. "I have to look for my highlights myself." This is not difficult for the 42-year-old. She knows and feels what she likes to do.

Suddenly alone when the friends have children

And yet there was a time when she would have liked to feel the desire to have children as well as her friends. “We all went the same way for a long time,” she says. “From the age of 30, one after the other turned off and started a family. Suddenly I was standing there alone. " Nadine had to reorient herself, look for new friends who had the time and inclination to do something.

With women it is said: Ah, her career is more important than children. A man without children, on the other hand, is a bon vivant.
Author: Nadine (42) decided on a child-free life

The fact that, as a woman, she has opted for a child-free life, says Nadine, has never been questioned by those around her. And yet the therapist, who lives in a committed relationship, feels a certain aftertaste when it comes to her decision: "Men who do not have or do not want children are less regretted." These are more likely to be seen as freedom-loving bon vivants. On the other hand, women who have no children and who put their energy into work would quickly say: "Ah, a career is more important to her than children."

Not every woman has a desire to have children

Natalie Schafroth also feels this different evaluation. The 35-year-old marketing woman keeps saying: "Women who have no children are not taken seriously in their decision." People automatically assumed that as a woman she felt this desire. If not now, then definitely in the next few years or with the right partner.

Natalie Schafroth can only shake her head about this: having children as “the ultimate” - she sees many couples with children who do not seem particularly happy. «And why do you only ask: 'Why don't you want any children?' And not: 'Why do you want children?'".

Couples with children sometimes feel challenged by my life plans.
Author: Natalie Schafroth (35) opted for a child-free life

Sometimes she even has the impression that families feel challenged by their life plan without children.

Live life - with or without children

Alex Arnold knows that no decision can be made without pain. The 63-year-old is a passionate mountaineer and made a conscious decision against having children with his partner Lucia Schuler (59).

Nature wants reproduction at all costs. Resisting this pressure is a struggle.
Author: Alex Arnold (63) chose a child-free life

"Nature wants reproduction at all costs" - this urge to resist and not have children is a struggle, a struggle. “It wanted to push me into this system too,” he says. But he did not bow to the pressure. His freedom, which he had earned, was more important to him. Til today.

Lucia had to choose between her partner and the desire to have children. At the beginning it still hurt from time to time, but today she is happy and knows: "Having children is only part of life." There is so much more that you can challenge and be happy about. In the end, it's all about living life with all its facets. With or without children.

Input, Radio SRF 3, Sunday, 7.2.2021, 8:03 p.m.

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  • Commentary by Cyrill Heer (Dr Braini)
    Having children is selfish!
    To be honest, what are the reasons for having children?
    So that they can achieve something that you couldn't do yourself?
    To be able to impose his (oh so important) values ​​and ideas on someone?
    To create a "perfect" person according to his own ideas?
    To be able to pass on his super important genes?
    Odr so that you have someone yourself who cares for you in your old age?
    Sounds very selfish and selfish to me
    Agree Agree to the comment Select answers to reply to the comment
  • Comment from Samuel Mörgel (normal thinking)
    They are all cowardly egoists.
    For the last thousands of years our ancestors have struggled to make us even exist and we think simple and small as OUR life is better - with or without children.
    It is our duty to pass on what we have received!
    However, if it is not possible for health reasons, they should actually enjoy their life to the full!
    Agree Agree to the comment Select answers to reply to the comment
    1. answer from Jonathan Wolff (Nathanloup)
      Your talk comes out like a sermon. Do you already realize that the population has multiplied in the last 150 years and that it cannot go on like this?
      Agree agree to the comment
    2. answer from Samuel Mörgel (normal thinking)
      Yeah right. That's what the Nazis said before 85 ...
      Agree agree to the comment
    3. answer from Francis Waeber (Francis Waeber)
      @ Morgel - not so long ago it was possible to bring a family of 5 or 6 with a labor wage, which in the modern age of rent usury, wage dumping, KK premium rip-off, etc. is excluded. The question is WHO the egoists are here ... ;-))
      Agree agree to the comment
    4. Show answers
  • Comment from Walter Liechti (Walimann)
    In the past, it was not so easy for people to remain childless: Relatively safe contraceptives were not available, abortions were also forbidden, and women who did it anyway risked their lives with the "knitting needle methods". Nowadays contraceptives are very effective and modern abortion methods are practically without risk for abortion women. Nowadays we live like in paradise and can enjoy sex to the full without wanting to have children.
    Agree Agree to the comment Select answers to reply to the comment

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