Does masturbation affect spirituality?

Spiritual Sex: Honey, I'm Coming!

"Honey, do we want to unite tomorrow at 2 pm?" A bizarre sentence - admittedly, and I get a correspondingly distant look from my loved one. Because hello? After all, you have impulsive sex when you feel overwhelmed * and not planned and controlled. You tear your clothes off your body until the buttons fly, sweep all work off the table without thinking and do it. Or?

Often we screw ourselves up and abuse sex for anything but actually "making love":

To distract us, to escape reality, to receive confirmation from the outside, to meet assumed expectations, even for strategic reasons, in an intoxication, to overcome loneliness, to relieve pressure and tension and so on and so on. Everything unconsciously, of course. But now speaking so consciously: Why do we really fuck?

There are three reasons: for pleasure, i.e. sex for sex's sake, because of procreation, i.e. sex for someone else's sake, and for spiritual development, i.e. sex for my own sake.

There was a lot of rumor and spread about the latter at this time. There is great curiosity, but reliable sources are rare. Sex and spirituality. But what is it really about - I mean:

What is spiritual sex please?

When I was kissing and fiddling with the local guru named God Dieux (no kidding!) In the Indian ashram three years ago, you could have believed that I had cracked a Spiri Sex score of 130. But no: I only learned spiritual sex here in Berlin. Sounds bizarre. But is true.

What do sex and spirituality have to do with each other?

The intention. Because at its deepest level, spirituality is nothing other than connectedness. To the greater whole, to the inner truth, to the flow of life or whatever you want to call it.

And what is sex but connection - figuratively speaking? Ancient traditions have already recognized this and while Tantra primarily aims at the abolition of duality through the union of polarities, Taoimus pursues the goal of increasing sexual energy, holding it and transforming it into life energy.

Why should we practice spiritual sex?

Spiri-Sex helps you with your personal development, and therefore:

1. All around poodle well-being

By bringing awareness into our sexual practice, we shift the relationship to sex and develop a healthy approach to our physicality - freed from extremes such as oppression or exaggeration.

We free ourselves from compulsions, addictions and pure instinctual control: Everything-fuck-what-is-with-three-not-on-the-trees: goodbye. We let go of shameful feelings, bad conscience and restrictive moral concepts: That’s going to blind you: goodbye. We welcome the middle: It's okay: ahoy!

2. Tidy up

We have all had painful sexual experiences in our lives and supposedly we carry our ex-lovers for another 7 years in our orbit, also called aura. Spiritual sex can help us resolve these traumas, embrace them in love, and actually heal them. And equips us to recognize and respect boundaries in the future.

3. You and I are one

And while we are already talking about pain, Spiri-Sex can free us from the greatest pain in human history: From the feeling of separation. From a yogic point of view, the goal in life is the experience of unity and the liberation from the illusion of being isolated.

God-and-I-are-one sends greetings. Sex in itself is the most manifest approach to the abolition of duality, since it can be experienced through the senses; it gives us the chance to experience real and true union. And that even after our genitals intertwine.

4. Energy supplier

According to the Tao, the sexual energy is the strongest force in our organism. That is why we fear them so often. However, if we learn to cultivate this immense power and use it for ourselves, it enriches our entire energy balance. In that sense, your genitals are like multi-plug sockets. And you can even reach in here!

5. I am.

And last but not least, we want one thing above all on the spiritual path: to know ourselves. With the help of spiritual sex, I remove all these veils that obstruct the view such as guilt, shame and fear and experience unity. And it is precisely in this state that my self sits waiting to be discovered. My darling, i'm coming!

And how do you practice spiritual sex?

1. Know thyself

If I don't know myself and my needs, how can I expect someone else to? You have to go on a research trip and, yes: masturbate. And with a lot of curiosity.

For the most part, over the years we have acquired certain points, grips, tricks, fantasies and the like with which we can best come to the climax. I would like to invite you to throw everything overboard, take your time and experience yourself in a new way. For example, have you already discovered your clitoral thighs or the perineum? Develop an intuitive feeling and let yourself be carried away by the wonderful waves.

2. Fall in love with yourself

The best thing to do is stand naked in front of a nice big mirror and forget all indoctrinated ideals. I know this is a pretty tough nut to crack. But try to look at yourself with benevolent kindness.

So really close your eyes, take a deep breath and then see the light of day. So with a wow factor! Develop a deep feeling of gratitude for your body, which is doing you such wonderful service and giving you such great joys.

Do not lose yourself in renewed optimization plans like "Here please more and there less". Accept yourself for who you are right now. And if you are of the super brave kind, then grab the hand mirror and look deep into your lap. Do you actually know what you look like "down there"?

3. Porn detox

Some people find it easier to masturbate in front of someone else's pictures, yes yes, but I ask you: just leave it. Most erotic films use precisely those previously mentioned misguided ideal images, since women have their rosettes and vaginas bleached and their lips shortened. I mean, wtf? This is not about love, least of all about transcendent depth or yourself.

Even the now alternative pornography rarely grows beyond well-known pairing patterns, even if the aesthetics are more appealing. It's also nice to break free of the streaming mentality and give our own imagination space. But if you are of the opinion that they stimulate, inspire and the like, then just try a fasting period and see if something changes.

4. Healthy and happy

In order to stand well in the juice, you need delicious fruits that are created by good seeds. In other words: Your lifestyle directly influences your sex life. And not just in terms of taste.

So get going, move around, breathe deeply and eat as much fresh food as possible that brings a good portion of prana. Also come to rest, cultivate a regular meditation practice and ensure real relaxation phases. Because stress is really an unsexy bitch.

5. Karma, baby!

Take a very close look at who you are getting involved with or have already gotten involved with. Probably not all that glamorous trophies, right?

When we unite with someone, we actually exchange energy in five different ways: we look deeply into each other's eyes and we look into each other's souls. We kiss and taste the “jade water” (in the Tao the word for saliva) of the other. We begin to rub against each other and literally load ourselves up against the other. We breathe the breath of the other and directly integrate the breath of life. And last but not least, of course, we swap the genital juices.

Quite a lot, right? Knowing how much we are not only giving away, but also actively absorbing, a good karma filter is worthwhile with regard to the next or current pleasure playmates. Because we also want to let go unrestrainedly. So watch out who you're flying on.

6. Unintentionality

Warning, this may shock you, but sex is not about orgasm. We've seen, heard and almost been taught that a lot, but that's just not true. What emerges from this belief are staccato jostling, short-winded high-hacking and inadequate foreplay.

Six, sit down. In Spiri-Sex we want to meet each other, just as we did in the first point: Curious, devoid of experience and unintentional. We don't rush to the climax and in the best sense lose ourselves in this sexy dynamic that is never the same, reproducible or predictable.

7. The classic: here and now!

Actually explains itself: Please do not put together any shopping lists in the love game, do not think about the ex or spin other confusions. Your meditation practice will help you stay here now and fully engage in this situation. And when the head starts to spin again: Observe, breathe, let go.

8. It's all a matter of intention

Buddhism firmly believes that our intentions determine the meaning of our actions. So you want to have spiritual sex? Then make a resolution to have spiritual sex. Sounds easy and it is.

It is best to sit down with your partner shortly before the union and get in the mood for what is to come together. Realize that you want to merge. Feel and make love.

9. Don't waste the energy

And now it's getting tricky. Surely you've heard something like that in tantra men are not allowed to come. Yes and no. What Tantra means by this is to experience an orgasm, but not to shed sperm.

From a purely logical point of view, semen is simply the most potent and vital liquid in the world. There is so much life energy in it that I almost feel bad for all the sperm I've drawn from men in my life. The dry climax is a fine art and needs to be practiced.

A good pressure on the perineum can be very helpful. The idea behind it is the same as the Tao: We collect so much energy in ourselves during the act of love and hurl all this power outwards instead of retaining it and sending it to the farthest corner of our own body.

By the way, this is called the full-body orgasm.

And that's no longer a myth. The same applies, of course, to women, even if not in this drama, as they cannot shed sperm. But her orgasms are also different and she, too, can let the energy evaporate or invest in all of her cells.

Just play with it. Don't come right away. Try to breathe all the excitement from the genital area into your stomach first. Then into the heart, and if you can even to the third eye. Enrich yourself from head to toe with glorious sexual energy. Life doesn't get more orgiastic!

Spiritual sex is not something mystical.

We don't have to recite mantras, paint yantras on our bodies, or be initiated by the guru. Just slowly let awareness and love flow into your sexuality at your own pace and you will be surprised how it will transform.

When I met my loved one, different understandings of sex collided and it's fun to broaden your horizons. In any case, I am now looking forward to my sex date tomorrow at the agreed time and equally enjoy being taken spontaneously on the desk.

Loves you!


Cover picture © Matheus Ferrero via Unsplash

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