Is it okay for boys to cry

Boys question about men who cry

Dear guys,

First of all, the following very broad instruction: Let it go! Weep so much and for as long as your heart desires. She really seems to need it badly, as can be seen from the reactions to various media events over the past few weeks.

There was a video of a boy crying in karate class that went viral. Mainly because of his teacher's reaction, a pretty tough looking mountain from a man who first lamented the boy for why he was crying. And when he said, sobbing, that he was crying because it was so hard to smash the wood, his trainer said: “Cry. It's okay to cry. ”Something about that must have touched something deep in the hearts of many men. Lots of men's hearts - if you look at the number of clicks, about 16 million men's hearts.

Then came the French pole vaulter, Renaud Lavillenie, who booed the Brazilian audience so that tears ran down the poor man at the awards ceremony while the audience continued to whistle and boo for all they could. Outside the stadium, a wave of solidarity rolled across the globe; People answered who would have loved to hug the poor French and slap every single one of the angry viewers.

So much for the general instruction: just cry! Now it's getting a little more specific.

Tears of ambition or frustration are unacceptable

There are differences, which unfortunately are a bit stricter for you men than for us women.

We are definitely more sensitive to male crybugs than female ones. That's unfair. But a fact. So if you struck your big toe on the chair, we'd be very grateful if you could figure it out for yourself and maybe don't put on a crazy scene.

Tears that you shed out of ambition and frustration are just as unacceptable. So just because you can't lift as many pounds as your buddy, or because your boss didn't promote you, but your colleague, you don't have to howl at us. Better to turn your frustration into creative channels. Paint something or hit a block of wood.

If, on the other hand, you are sad and crying because, for example, your best friend is seriously ill or you realize for the first time that your parents are getting older and maybe soon will not be there any more. And then you have to cry. Then you absolutely have to do it in our presence. Because crying often helps. If only in the process of flushing all the snot out of the convolutions of the brain.

Small restriction here:

If we don't know you very well and you start crying, that makes us very, very insecure and we assume (mean, but true) that you don't really have your emotions under control otherwise. But in my experience it only happens very rarely.

But if we have known you well for a long time and you trust us enough to share your saddest and weakest moments with us, then this is the greatest vote of confidence and we appreciate that. Just give it a try. As a rule, we are pretty good comforters, strokes and rebuilders - we have acquired a certain amount of expertise in this in the course of our lives.

But what you should really leave forever and ever: to completely refrain from tears. That doesn't make you seem strong, but rather numb and dumb and actually a bit too stupid to feel deeper feelings.

Your girls.