What kind of people are nice

Too nice and nice to women! Devilish tips if you as a man are just too good for this world

Constantly giving expensive gifts to loved ones, renovating their apartment and playing the chauffeur: some men are just too nice to women. Whether for flirting or in a relationship, despite - no, BECAUSE - of their kindness, these guys cannot end up with the ladies. In this article, I'll help you become a real heartthrob - without having to become an asshole.

Why can I help you? Quite simply: I was once the classic nice guy as he stands in the book and found a way to escape this trap.

Too nice for this world - a problem for most unsuccessful men

Almost every unsuccessful man at some point in life has the feeling that he is just too nice for women. The strategy of winning hearts with good, polite and courteous behavior always seems to fail miserably. The problem is not limited to the realm of love. We boys are often generally too friendly in life - including at school and university as well as later at work.

You have to watch over and over again how the ladies leave you on the left in order to claw the next macho? The women only want you as a “best friend” or - just as badly - butter you up in the relationship? That’s over now, because I’ll show you the exit from this one-way street.

What does it mean to be too nice to women? - 27 signs that you are being too nice

First of all, you have to be clear about what being overly niceness means. Let's do a quick test and let's find out if you're too nice to women and people in general! Just read through the following 27 statements and take your time to consider whether they apply to you:

  1. 1. You give out drinks to unknown party girls in the disco, in the hope that you “may” get to know them better.
  2. 2. You don't dare to be cheeky to her while flirting and to tease her with playful comments.
  3. 3. Sexual compliments (e.g. "You look really hot in that dress!") Are taboo for you.
  4. 4. Instead, you give her submissive compliments (in real life, on Facebook, WhatsApp or Twitter) without them having earned these praise.
  5. 5. You generally don't dare to show her openly and honestly that you are into her.
  6. 6. You call her constantly or send her WhatsApp / Facebook / email messages several times a day, even though she hardly ever gets in touch with you.
  7. 7. You help her constantly and everywhere (e.g. with homework / studying, repairing a bike, assembling furniture or her PC problems). In general, you cannot refuse her any wish and you are constantly doing unnecessary favors (e.g. picking up somewhere by car at 3 a.m.).
  8. 8. You've been chasing her for weeks or months, looking for contact, in the hope that she'll still be interested in you at some point.
  9. 9. When you are out or on a date, you always pay for the food in the restaurant. Even when entering events, only you always have the necessary money for both of you.
  10. 10. You mostly let the woman decide what to do on a date or in a relationship.
  11. 11. You don't dare to speak your true opinion to other people or to criticize them for fear of upsetting them.
  12. 12. If she does or suggests things that you do not want, you do not contradict her, but accept them in silence.
  13. 13. You listen to their problems for hours, especially the endless arguments with their (ex) partners.
  14. 14. All of this even goes so far that you let yourself be shamelessly exploited by the woman.
  15. 15. You apologize for things when you actually didn't do anything wrong.
  16. 16. In general, you look for the fault / fault with yourself first.
  17. 17. In groups (including men's groups) or at work, it is difficult for you to gain attention, hearing and respect.
  18. 18. You perceive the majority of the other men who are more successful with women than you as "assholes".
  19. 19. Because of your relationship, you neglect your hobbies criminally (e.g. football on Saturday, modeling or playing the guitar).
  20. 20. For her sake, you have given up your cherished habits (e.g. eating meat, smoking or walking barefoot through the apartment).
  21. 21. Your girlfriend is constantly complaining about you, making stupid comments and harassing you - and you vow to get better.
  22. 22. Meetings with old friends or the typical men's evenings hardly take place anymore because your relationship takes up most of your time.
  23. 23. You let her blackmail you. She uses deprivation of love as leverage or threatens you with separation.
  24. 24. You let her treat you disrespectfully, without confronting her, let alone drawing the consequences (e.g. ending the relationship).
  25. 25. After the breakup, you run after her for weeks and beg for a "second chance".
  26. 26. What today's “feminists” say about “men” on radio, television and in the press you consider to be entirely or largely true (e.g. comments such as “Men are drive-controlled pigs” or “Address women = always sexual harassment”).
  27. 27. What you think you know about men in general, you have mostly learned from your mother, female educators and from the media.

As I said, this list is something of a small test. If at least 3 of the above apply to you, you are clearly too nice to women.

Believe it or not: I used to be too good for this world myself

Yes, I myself used to make the mistake that I was way too nice and nice around women. In the disco I gave the girls drinks until they woke up, on the date I was more polite than an English butler to his majesty and you won't believe how many apartments I renovated for the ladies (only three weeks later with them there on the Sitting on the sofa and listening to her problems with the "assholes" for hours ").

And I know all too well how painful this experience can be, especially when you're madly in love. It makes you desperate: You do everything for your beloved, take care of her, help where you can and always have an open ear for her worries. You think to be the best friend on earth for her ... but then she grabs this asshole, which she only takes advantage of and cheats on.

Crazy world! Why doesn't she see how amazing I am? These thoughts are in your head and you may even get angry at the opposite sex.

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Why am I always too nice to women? The findings of psychology

Why are we actually too nice to women if that doesn't work? The roots of this behavior are in childhood, if psychology is to be believed. Even as small children we learned: If we are as nice and nice to our parents as possible, we get everything we want. For example, we can stay up late in the evening, get an ice cream at the kiosk or are simply praised and hugged.

The nice thing here was a great strategy that best ensured our emotional survival.

When we hit puberty, we hear everywhere that we have to be nice to the girls so that they will make us friends. The myth of the nice boy is what parents tell us, but above all Hollywood films and novels. And what worked so well for parents as a child must also work for adolescents in love ... right ?!

Why your old nice guy behavior doesn't work in love

Unfortunately we realize exactly that this plan is doomed to fail and the girls don't want to know anything about us. Too dear men just don't arrive. But why don't these nice guys have a chance with the opposite sex? The explanation: Guys who are too nice to be friends have many positive qualities such as reliability, good listening skills, the ability to be self-critical and generosity. But you are dead boring as a partner and therefore not sexually attractive at all ... unfortunately!

Also, a lot of these guys aren't really "nice" out of selflessness or charity towards other people. Instead, they play - often unconsciously - the nice boy, because they hope to get sex and love back from the woman. Of course, the ladies feel this very precisely and therefore keep a large distance.

What women want: emotional tension that creates magical attraction

That's why I want you to get the idea of ​​being nice out of your head once and for all. What women want instead is emotional tension. This electrifying feeling is the basic ingredient for any form of eroticism. You can imagine it like when you start a fire in the Stone Age (or on a survival holiday): The warmth is only created through intense friction, which makes the sparks sparkle to finally ignite the blazing fire of love!

I will tell you below in my article how you create this friction or tension - this was the key to my success and will also be your ticket to the world of women!

The big question: are women really into assholes?

When it comes to this topic, there is another big myth that persists - especially with frustrated men: Girls like machos and assholes as partners - really bad guys who treat them like dirt and who don't care. These guys always get the most beautiful top models. Life is so unfair!

The positive and negative side of the bad boys

But is this prejudice even true? There is already a spark of truth in it: These bad boys have many characteristics that are well received by the opposite sex:

  • Self-confidence
  • Assertiveness
  • Courage and a thirst for adventure
  • Leadership
  • A clear opinion that they also express
  • independence
  • They don't keep calling
  • Inner "don't care" attitude
  • Confession to one's own male sexuality
  • Dominance in bed
  • Often a well-trained body
  • (supposed) status symbols like fast cars

Such male characteristics are very attractive to women. But I also observe negative behavior in these types again and again: They are uncontrollable and quick-tempered to violent, selfish, treat other people (including their partners) disrespectfully and otherwise create a lot of problems.

Why women so often choose the lousy bad boy

Then why exactly do the ladies do this stress to themselves? Quite simply: In our society today, the girls more and more often only have the choice between two extremes, namely the man who is far too nice and the bad boy. These asshole types are clearly one step ahead, because they can still score points with an interesting masculinity compared to the completely boring Nice Guy. Before the ladies then take the boring "difficult guy", they fish their assholes - but only as the lesser evil!

Because - as you already guessed right - life with such a nasty guy is not really nice. The masculine characteristics may seem irresistible (especially for bed), but if the guy shows his bad side, the house blessing quickly goes wrong. Often times they split up immediately, or the women remain unhappy by the men’s side when they think they cannot find anything better.

Become the perfect man: Neither an asshole nor a nice guy, but a gentleman!

But I also have good news for you: You don't have to become a complete asshole to arrive well in the ladies' world and to find a girlfriend. You just have to look at the positive sides of the tough machos listed above and integrate them into your personality. Of course not the bad properties!

This is how you become a true gentleman - a man who combines the good sides of both the nice guy and the asshole.

These gentlemen have even better cards than the assholes. Why, that's clear: women get the coveted characteristics of the macho with them, but without “buying in” the typical downsides at the same time. That's why gentlemen can make their girlfriends happy in the long term and have stable relationships with them.

The 21 best tips to stop being too nice to women starting today

If you really want to be perceived as a gentleman who a woman falls in love with, you have to change some of your behaviors and thought patterns. Here you will get the most important tips on the topic, which you can implement immediately:

  1. 1. Do not give unknown party mice in the disco any more drinks for expensive money just so that they like you. Only show yourself generously when your contact is more intense and she has earned such gifts.
  2. 2. Take the lead in dating and later in relationships. Bring ideas and suggestions instead of waiting for their initiative.
  3. 3. Don't come to the date with huge bouquets of flowers, jewelry and other expensive gifts.
  4. 4. Don't keep paying for restaurant food or other items. You can split the bill or take turns paying each time you meet.
  5. 5. Don't run after your loved one all the time, even though you don't have a chance with her. Get to know new girls better who value you more.
  6. 6. Don't be available around the clock. Anyone who is constantly available by phone or posts a comment on Twitter every 3 minutes quickly appears uninteresting.
  7. 7. Stop making slimy and submissive compliments, but use them carefully.
  8. 8. When flirting, be cheeky, playful and don't shy away from sexual compliments (of course don't overdo it or be pushy!).
  9. 9. Openly admit your weaknesses and fears instead of trying to hide them. This shows real strength!
  10. 10. Do not put the "beloved" (this word is already very unhappy!) On a pedestal in front of which you kneel. Treat them as one person on an equal footing.
  11. 11. Express your opinion openly and honestly to other people - even at the risk of offending with one or the other comment.
  12. 12. Don't let yourself be exploited anymore. Don't constantly do her nonsensical favors and only help her when help is really needed.
  13. 13. Don't listen to their problems for hours, after all, you are not their therapist or lawyer.
  14. 14. No more constant call attempts or Facebook contact if nothing comes back from her.
  15. 15. Only apologize for things that, even after honest self-reflection, you have recognized as your fault.
  16. 16. Stand by your hobbies and lifestyle habits and continue to practice them in the partnership.
  17. 17. Don't let yourself grumble about little things in everyday life, you are okay the way you are.
  18. 18. Set clear boundaries and do not allow yourself to be treated disrespectfully. Also take action if it crosses a red line on yours.
  19. 19. Continue to meet up with friends if it is good for you instead of spending your time with your partner alone.
  20. 20. Don't let your girlfriend blackmail you into breaking up relationships, sex withdrawal and other bad things. If necessary, accept the separation.
  21. 21. If it comes to a breakup at some point, put a clear line on yourself and get to know new women.

You will see: Soon you will no longer be just the nice boy next door - but a cool guy that the girls love!

The best tip at the end: what false and what true niceness means

Many of my clients don't know how much niceness is okay and when it becomes too much. They have a hard time finding the right balance. That's why I'd like to give you something like a compass. In general, when being nice you always have to pay attention to the underlying motive: Don't be nice because you secretly hope for something in return, but because it comes selflessly from the heart. You radiate a generosity that women love!

These tips don't stop there ...

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