Why do children abuse parents

Child protection in Lower Saxony

The suspicion that one's own child or a trusted child could be sexually abused is a great shock. It is often difficult to believe this, especially if the accused is known to the parents or belongs to the family. This idea can trigger feelings of helplessness, powerlessness and threat, guilt or shame or even anger. Here you will find tips on what to do in a suspected case, telephone hotlines and contact points that you can turn to as a first step, as well as websites with further information.

What You Should Know About Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is violence that is carried out through sexuality. An adult or adolescent person uses his / her position of power, the trust or ignorance of a child in order to satisfy his / her own sexual needs.

The perpetrator is rarely a stranger, but someone the child knows. Sexual abuse is almost always a repeat offense that is well planned and prepared.

The attacks usually begin harmlessly and increase in intensity.

The relationship of dependency prevents the children from talking about their experiences as well as feelings of guilt, shame or powerlessness. Nevertheless, they usually give more or less clear signals that show that something is wrong, for example changes in behavior. There are no clear symptoms of sexual abuse.

How you can support affected children

Pay close attention to changes in behavior and take the signals seriously!

Believe the child when he suggests and confides in you. Assure him that it is not his fault and that no one is allowed to do anything like this to him.

Show the child that you will listen, but don't rush. Children's books can be very helpful for the conversation. You can find some materials here.

Together, think about steps that represent an initial protection.

Stay calm and level-headed, even if it is difficult for you.

Never stay alone with your suspicions, get advice from experts at a counseling center! There you will find support for all further steps!

telefonic consultancy

Would you like to know more about the individual steps you can take and what to expect for you and the affected child? Do you have any suspicions, but you are not sure? Qualified, confidential advice over the phone can provide initial assistance here.

Number against grief
Anonymous and free of charge from landlines and mobile phones

T (0800) 111 0 550 parents' phone
Monday to Friday 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Tuesdays and Thursdays also until 7 p.m.

With the parents' telephone, the association “Nummer gegen Kummer” offers free and anonymous discussions, advice and information. Personal advice is also referred to specialists in counseling centers.

T (0800) 111 0 333 (in Germany)
T 116 111 (from anywhere in Europe)
Monday to Saturday 2 p.m. to 8 p.m.
Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays also 10 a.m. to 12 p.m.

Children and adolescents who do not know what to do next can speak to adult or adolescent advisors on the child and youth helpline. Online advice is also possible via the website www.nummergegenkummer.de.

Sexual abuse helpline

Free and anonymous contact point for victims of sexual violence, for relatives and people from the social environment of children, for professionals and for all interested parties.

T (0800) 22 55 530
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Tuesdays and Thursdays 3 to 8 p.m.

Questions can also be sent to the advisory team by e-mail at [email protected]

On the hotline number of the independent commissioner on questions of child sexual abuse, those seeking help are advised by competent and specially trained specialists. The website www.anmachen-hilft.de provides information on what happens after a call and answers frequently asked questions about the offer of the helpline and the topic of sexual abuse.

Advice center for sexual abuse and discrimination in schools and day care centers for children in Lower Saxony
The contact point of the Lower Saxony Ministry of Culture accepts information, anonymously if requested. It can be turned on by children and adolescents, parents, local advice centers, teachers, educational specialists and other people they trust - and of course also by victims of sexual violence and assault themselves.

T (0511) 120 71 20
Monday to Thursday 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.
Fridays 8 a.m. to 12 p.m.
An answering machine is switched on outside of these times
[email protected]

Help & support in advice centers in Lower Saxony

The specialist counseling centers against sexual abuse will help you if you need support for yourself or an affected child - professionally, free of charge and anonymously if you wish. You can also turn to the advice centers with your concerns and questions if you are not sure about something you suspect. Counselors with educational, therapeutic or psychological training will work with you to find a way to protect the child and show you the next steps. Here you will also be informed about what happens in the event of a complaint in criminal proceedings. You and your child can also deal with the abuse in counseling or in possible therapy. Some specialist counseling centers are specifically aimed at affected girls and their parents.

Advice centers for girls and boys and their parents
These facilities provide help and advice to children and adolescents who have experienced sexual abuse and their parents. In the address database you will find all advice centers with this offer in Lower Saxony. Use the "Sexual Abuse Counseling Center" category in the address database to search for a facility nearby.

Address database child protection

Advice centers for girls
You can also find the contact addresses of girls' houses and advice centers on the subject of sexual violence against girls in the address database. Use the category "Advice center violence against girls" to search.

Address database child protection

Web tips for parents and trusted adults

The website for the police and White Ring campaign of the same name provides adults with initial information on this topic. It not only provides information about abuse in the social area, abuse among young people or the procedure from reporting to court hearing, but also about perpetrator strategies and immediate police measures. In addition, a brochure can be downloaded there that provides prevention recommendations as well as information on what to do in the event of suspicion and what the police should do after a complaint has been filed.

If you are concerned about a child, have a suspicion or want to ask questions on the subject, you can contact the free and anonymous one Sexual abuse helpline 0800/22 55 530 turn. The website of the Federal Abuse Commissioner provides information on what happens after a call and answers frequently asked questions about the helpline and the topic of sexual abuse.

The abuse officer’s help portal offers (adults) victims of sexual violence, relatives and professionals information on advice, help and prevention issues. It also refers to corresponding offers for girls and boys. A nationwide database supports the search for specialized advice and assistance on site. The help portal takes on a pilot function for the entire federal territory.

The website of the Federal Abuse Commissioner offers background information such as legal topics, a glossary, specialist opinions, literature recommendations and answers to frequently asked questions.

The website of the Cologne contact and information center against sexual abuse offers parents and educators background information. Tips help to react in a child-friendly manner when an affected girl or boy confides in you and show how you can support the child. The website is also aimed directly at girls and boys and explains how they can get help early on in the event of sexual violations of boundaries, assaults and abuse. Much of the children's materials on the website are translated into over ten languages.

A third of all victims of sexual abuse are between 12 and 18 years old. Young adults, like adolescents, are often sexually harassed by adults or their peers. The website of Zartbitter e.V. offers prevention materials for young people and work aids for professionals from youth work and (vocational) schools.

The internet portal bundles the internet offers of the various church actors on the topic of preventing sexualised violence. The website aims to provide well-founded information to parents and everyone who has taken on responsibility for children and young people in their daily work and to network with one another. The Internet portal offers links to websites of the Catholic associations and their offers as well as downloadable materials on the focus areas of education, youth, leisure and sport, family and care and support.

For web tips for children and teenagers, see Advice for children and teenagers: You can get help!

Psychosocial process support

What if there is a complaint and criminal proceedings? Even then there is support, for example through the Lower Saxony Victims Aid Foundation. The foundation advises and supports crime victims and their families. Those affected can turn to the eleven regional victim assistance offices. Information and contacts are available on the website www.opferhilfe.niedersachsen.de. A particularly intensive form of support is psychosocial process support. It is intended for people who, for a wide variety of reasons, are exposed to particularly severe stress after experiencing a crime, such as children and adolescents. The free offer supports victim witnesses and their relatives comprehensively before, during and after the criminal proceedings. In everyday life, too, the psychosocial process facilitators provide important assistance in dealing with very individual problems.