Why can't long distance relationships work

Can a long distance relationship work? 15 tips for love at a distance


Long-distance relationships - can they even work?

"Take care, my dear. See you soon."Do you hear this sentence regularly or do you pronounce it yourself?

Then you are probably in a long distance relationship.

Saying goodbye for several days or weeks is everyday life for you.

In between hundreds of kilometers, a lot of loneliness and often sadness ...

Not an easy situation.

Tormenting longing and certainly also frequent questions like: Can this work out?

Are you even the long distance relationship type?

Now you finally get answers!

And I will also show you here how love works successfully at a distance.

Because it can, if you have this 15 tips for a strong, happy long-distance relationship from the beginning or start today at the latest.

It is much easier than it seems in many lonely hours.

Have a successful long-distance relationship?

Take a look at how to do it:

1. The test run

Not everyone is ready for a long-distance relationship out of the box.

If this special constellation of partnership is only just beginning, or one of you suddenly has to move away for professional reasons, while the other cannot come right away, you can keep the relationship at a distance practice beforehand.

You agreed - although still nearby - deliberately longer separation phases:

a few days, the whole week or even the whole month.

The period should roughly correspond to the actual separation times.

During this time you don't see each other, you communicate only by phone, messenger, video chat etc.as you have to do that later.

This will give you both a feeling for the real situation.

You see where there could be problems and you have enough time for solutions.

Or if you can't handle the situation at all ...

What are the problems of a long-distance relationship anyway?

A partnership at a distance is not that unusual.

Well every tenth pair leads them with more or less great distances between them.

But many fail because of a lack of trust, jealousy or simply drift apart.

Don't let that happen to you. And therefore:

2. Accept the situation

You are already living in the middle of it or the relationship over long distances can no longer be prevented, as in the first example ...

There is no point in constantly cursing the situation or imagining almost every day what it would be like if… Stealthy glances at other - "normal" - couples make it even more difficult.

You have to accept the situation as it is.

Then you can come to terms with the distance love more easily.

If you keep looking at it as imperfect just because of the distance, you will eventually perceive the rest as imperfect as well.

3. Giving confidence

Anyone who is often separated in space and time must (be able to) trust their partner.

Constant control of the other is one anyway Relationship killer, but it doesn't even work here either.

When was he online? Who is he writing to?

If you keep track of all of this, or maybe even check its GPS location, you soon will insane and your partner feels trapped or haunted.

From a physical distance, an interpersonal gap quickly becomes that you can no longer bridge.

Trust is more important here than ever.

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4. Share your life every day

With modern media and fast internet connections, maintaining a long distance relationship is easier than ever. Send you photos, voice messages, small videos of all the things that you experience during the day.

You can do that in between or you also agree on fixed times, for example for a video chat.

Even over a distance of thousands of kilometers, similarities, togetherness, a relationship base and, above all, also arise: Trust.

5. Connect rituals

In a relationship at a distance, I always advise you to have fixed times or dates and other rituals that you find together and then live regularly.

These rituals give both of you security. This makes the long-distance relationship feel much more reliable.

If you only communicate somehow and at some point in between, the opposite happens:

The partnership seems more and more arbitrary and quickly just like a casual friendship.

6. Everyone has their part in communication

Communication in any form is not a one-way street.

You both have to have the same say and have the opportunity to express your thoughts, worries or questions.

Balanced communication at eye level is an important prerequisite for the functioning of a long-distance relationship, so that you do not grow apart.

7. Provides closeness over a distance

Your communication is now also your only possibility to build up or to maintain a feeling of closeness over the distance.

That's why this is Communication and its design are particularly important now.

Check back and see your messages or conversations every now and then.

Are the conversations really still deep, cooperative and trusting?

Or do you just swap Superficialities that only keep up appearances?

Good, intensive communication - and it's not just about the length of conversations or messages - gives you confidence, security and support.

8. Less expectations and no false harmony

Even in a long-distance relationship, arguments and problems can arise.

This is not a bad sign for your partnership at a distance, but completely normal in every relationship.

Never expect that all conversations or encounters will automatically be more harmonious because they are so rare.

Still, don't swallow your anger about anything just because you don't want to ruin the moment.

Problems always have to be brought up on the table and clarified!

Only then can you keep your love over great distances because you still have a completely normal relationship with one another.

And especially important:

9. Find a culture of debate

Discussions or arguments take place on the phone or via messenger different from personal conversations.

Important signals from the other person - facial expressions or gestures - do not even reach you and the elementary discussion principle of speech and counter-speech is more difficult to adhere to.

The most important point:

Clarifies everything immediately and conclusively or arranges a cooling-off period and a next meeting.

Forcing both of you to have such an argument calm and fair respectively.

It's a different matter if you just hang up on a phone and ignore callbacks, or if you disappear into another room at home in the heat of the moment ...

Over the distance, the door literally slams shut much faster.

The situation can rather escalate and leaves behind more difficult to repair.

Listen to what your partner has to say and, conversely, ask them to do the same.

Accept each other's views and always tries to understand them. This is always the first step in order to find a solution together afterwards.

The more you practice this, the better and smoother your culture of argument becomes.

A new problem is off the table much faster and the risk that every new argument will become the ultimate relationship killer is reduced.

10. Curb your jealousy

A certain amount of jealousy lies dormant in everyone.

In a long distance relationship, however, jealousy can especially dangerous because there is a lack of regular personal affirmation and closeness.

There you will find photos, likes and comments on Facebook or Instagram, which are actually completely harmless, but a fatal one for you Thought carousel trigger …

You quickly slide into jealousy and control.

Both of these will eventually feed on by themselves and you will see ghosts everywhere.

This will make your life hell!

Let go of fears and insecurities.

If you can do it, jealousy has no chance dominate you and drive you crazy.

And always remember:

Trust is THE most important foundation of every successful, happy long-distance relationship!

11. Lust and passion always go

Of course, in a long-distance relationship, your love life also suffers.

Not only is spontaneous, passionate sex missing, everyday physical closeness with kisses, hugs and holding hands is neglected.

Find a replacement together that you both like!

These can be passionate phone calls or video chats, but photos and hot stories also stimulate the imagination and keep it that way Fire of desire burning.

12. Long Distance Relationship Costs

Who always thinks of money and material things when talking about love?

In a long-distance relationship, however, you should consider this point never disregard.

It will likely become very important quickly as the number of kilometers between you increases.

Fortunately, you don't have to worry about conversations, messages or videos today.

There are free options on the internet for everything. The only thing you need is Internet access, mobile phone, tablet or notebook. But surely you already have.

With the regular visits it might look very different. Especially with a partner abroad ...

Do you still manage to see and visit each other more or less regularly?

If you or he can only afford the plane ticket for days and weeks together every two or three years, you have to ask yourself if that makes sense ...

A relationship that is purely virtual can give you feelings and happiness for a while, but is always incomplete in the long run.

13. Common goals

That leads us to the next point:

Set goals and make plans together.

This can also be saving on the next flight ticket:

for example, everyone saves a share over a certain period of time.

What do you want to do the next time you meet again?

Goals and plans for the future are an important element of a partnership.

In a long-distance relationship, however, sooner or later everything revolves around a single goal:

When does it end?

Because that should be clear: love at a distance cannot work for all eternity.

Then it would be more of an affair or the famous friendship plus ...

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14. Surprise!

Surprising your partner with little things keeps every love fresh.

For such a surprise, the distance between you doesn't matter much.

Maybe you are just planning a spontaneous visit?

Or how about a surprise package full of personal, funny or even intimate things?

15. See it positively

Don't constantly look at a long distance relationship in terms of what's not working.

Negative thoughts first trigger doubts and then the end of the relationship.

Rather see things positively and try to enjoy being alone.

You can manage your time better.

When you're out with your friends for a while, there is no such thing as stress.

You don't have to chase after him ...

There are also many positive aspects to love at a distance.

Find it and think about it every now and then when it's particularly bad.

But the best is:

Every long-distance relationship comes to an end at some point.

Then you have each other again every day!

And then I have something else for you:

Have a happy long-distance relationship - your personal recipe for success to take away

Never forget:

A long distance relationship can work!

Love at a distance also has its advantages for the foreseeable future and can become a pleasant experience that binds you even more closely in the long term.

You have to make the most of it together and maintain a stable bond with regular communication, even over long distances.

Trust is the be-all and end-all.

In the end, it's like an ordinary partnership:

Only when you can let go of your partner and have no doubts that he will come back to you will you be happy with him in love at a distance.